No resolutions this year - but an allowing. Life will happen, there will be participation. Approach it all from joyful awareness. When there is forgetting - smile, and start again. So there it is for me. Happy New Year my friends! Peace and Love, Eric

Pancake Photos

Pancake Photos: 

several years ago, and for reasons I no longer remember but probably only on a whim and to make my friends smile - I posted a photo of my Sunday brunch pancakes on social media. And then continued to do so for several years. There was no reason or significance to this other than the smiles and jokes that followed. My pancake photos became a way of saying hi to my friends, saluting my own particular weirdness, and something more as well...

it signified my connection to the world.

only I didn't know this at the time. 

Sunday brunch and the occasional diner at our favorite vegan restaurant became a tradition for my wife, and then ex-wife, and I. It was a thread through our relationship, binding, keeping us connected in a meaningful way. We could put almost anything aside and spend that time together, a soul match of company and food, we were friends with the staff and always felt welcomed. 

a loving atmosphere all around.

my pancake photos, for me, became a symbol of all that was right in my small section of the world. This all ended with the pandemic shutdown, life shifted suddenly for all of us, connections fractured, and I retreated to care for my ailing father. I'm happy to say that the thread remained between my ex-wife and I, in fact bound us tighter in many important ways. But it's taken me some time to recover from a series of loss over these past years, or maybe more that it was a reluctance to emerge back into a world that still felt in need of a true and deep healing. 

so I've been in retread for some time now.

quietly so, 

meditating, yoga, writing, and predawn walks immersed in nature.

healing. 

recent events in my ex-wife's life brought cause for celebration, and the thread of our connection brought us once more to brunch at our favorite vegan restaurant. We're almost at a new year now, and tentatively, I'm ready to face the world once more, maybe not fully emerging from my self-imposed retreat, but just enough to make some new connections and expand my own little world again. 

yesterday, a new pancake photo was posted. 

it's a start. 

just a small re-connection. . 

~

Peace, Eric 

 

Towards Steadiness and Ease

Towards steadiness and ease: 

it's my yoga now, shared with Patanjali, unwavering in its commitment towards steadiness and ease. I'm less interested in the complexity of a pose, nor do I find that I need to hold them for a greater length of time. There's no goal to my practice other than the practice itself, asanas for the sake of finding comfort in my body, and all effort concentrated towards an eventual surrender to the pose. 

sthira sukham.

that I'm moving towards steadiness and ease.

truly so. 

Patanjali says very little about asanas, the third limb of yoga. Of the 196 in total only three actually mentions them and not in any great detail at all. The asanas weren't emphasized, but how we should approach them certainly was - that we should commit ourselves to steadiness and ease, a balance between the two, our minds relaxed and bodies poised on the edge of comfort and effort. I have finally come to a point of understanding this, how the asanas themselves are a meditation on this balance, each selected posture calling for both a mindful effort as well as my surrender. 

it's my yoga now, finally, no longer involved with ego and a drive to perfect each pose. In this sense I've already surrendered, even before a single asana is selected I have let go of any need to stress my body further than is needed. My only goal is to reach that edge of poise and surrender, not quickly, but only as it arrives to me as move through every pose. 

I'm no longer in a hurry. 

there's no urgency here. 

only sthira sukham.

moving towards a sense of steadiness and ease. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Even When We Know

Even when we know: 

even when we know that they exist we remain helpless in their grip, samskaras, mental patterns of endless draw and repetition that play throughout our mind. These are our default mode of behavior, mental impressions that are often so subtle that we fail to realize the power that they hold. They are not inherently good or bad, but simply patterns of our thoughts and reactions grooved into mind over a lifetime, maybe longer, and they become the means of our expression - automatic, with no thought given as to how we navigate our lives. 

our samskaras negate freewill.

even when we know that they exist. 

yet that's also the first step in breaking their absolute hold, being aware, and discovering that there is a choice here after all. But what it takes is an intention, after first becoming aware there must be a strong desire to break free from our habitual behaviors. The first step, most important of all, is to be aware, just seeing that we are not at fault here, we're prisoners of our very own minds. With awareness comes change, sometimes completely on its own, more often with no small degree of practice. Meditation, breathwork, cultivating steadiness through the asanas of yoga - these are our tools for freedom. 

what happens is that we begin to notice, catching that first subtle pull of our reactions and not immediately being drawn into our usual patterns. We might not even notice this at first, people remark that we've changed, grown more peaceful through our practice. But the truth is that we've created new and more creative patterns for our expression, our minds opting for an easy course of action. We're more relaxed now, and even when we're drawn in to old familiar patterns we'e able to soon recognize samskaras at work, quickly changing the energy of the situation. 

that's the peace found through awareness.

it's our smile of recognition. 

patterns are just patterns. 

they're not who we are. 

and now we know. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Inconspicuous

Inconspicuous: 

it's been a rather inconspicuous pose for me throughout the years, regulated as a warm-up before the more dramatic appearing yoga postures were displayed. Yet Pavanamuktasana, wind-relieving pose, has gain some prominence in my practice, being vital in relief of back pain and tension. What I've noticed is how often I've passed through so many asanas with so little attention, dismissing them for their very simplicity that actually makes them so effective. Recent back pain has given me cause to reset my practice, pay mindful attention to these seemingly lesser poses. 

and what I've discovered is...

there are no inconspicuous postures, 

only my lack of appreciation for what they offer. 

my reset has brought joy into my practice for these once overlooked asanas, they're no longer simply moved through to reach something of more importance. I've brought my focus to what I'm able to do now without the sharp and lasting pain of over extending myself, sinking into these once inconspicuous poses with deep appreciation. There's a vitality here that was never noticed before, that in my play of favorite postures I missed the energy that's offered in every pose, not one being less vital than any other. They're all of equal importance if mindfully approached. 

I somehow missed that through the years. 

but it's a lesson learned now.

a gift from being injured. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Realignment

Realignment: 

forgiveness is really just a return to the present moment, making it continuously so, a realignment of our thoughts to what's happening now and not focused on a past transgression. Reality itself holds no opinion on such matters, everything is instantly forgiven and life moves on. Ourselves included. But we are gifted with thought and imagination, an ability to roam our past events and feel the effects again right now, casting ourselves even further in the future to imagine how our lives might be.

forgiveness is difficult with our thoughts traveling to and fro. 

yogic psychology gives reason for this suffering, that we are burdened with the mental patterns of attraction and aversions, bound to our opinions as an ego, and ignorant of being caught within the fluctuation of the mind. We don't realize how we're drawn within this web of sorrow and even of we did we would find ourselves helpless in its grip of motion. 

our escape is forgiveness. 

a realignment. 

simply being aware that this is so.  

yoga is an easy path, we're not asked to make drastic changes, nor give effort to escape our suffering. We just practice, continuously giving our attention to the present moment by breath and posture, realigning ourselves once more with silence, and finding that forgiveness happens completely on its own. That's our awakening, not practicing to achieve anything, we're not seeking to forgive nor to escape our sorrows - but only to realign ourselves to the present moment. 

everything instantly forgiven...

and life moves on. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Almost Immediately

Almost immediately: 

I love that my day starts with yoga, my eyes first opening to a prayer of gratitude and then I am almost immediately sitting in Sukhasana, easy pose, a cross-legged posture for my morning meditation. This is a beautiful asana for me, I'm able to ease into and sit comfortably for some time, spine straight, and right away my begins with yoga, more than a practice -

it's a display of all I love.

almost immediately upon my waking. 

Sukhasana is a pose I look forward to, eager for it's lengthening of my spine, hips opening and the nights sleep being stretched from my body as my mind settles to the vibration of mantra. This is how I start my day, without fail, and if nothing else occurred for its duration I would remain gripped in joy and gratitude that I was able to fold my legs and stretch my back upwards, firmly connected to earth and air. 

almost immediately...

Sukhasana reminds me of this connection. 

it's also a valuable asana, with many benefits from its simplicity. The mind becomes concentrated from its hold, digestion improves, posture lengthens, and ankles and knees gain greater mobility. Even as I work through pain from a back injury I find relief with this pose. Energetically it's a position for deep observation, almost immediately I settle into listening to my body, relaxing, my thoughts continuing their flow without my direct participation. 

Sukhasana opens me as witness to it all. 

a beautiful way to begin my day. 

~

Peace, Eric