Dharma is Displayed

Dharma is displayed: 

the story is that St. Francis spoke to an almond tree on one harsh winter day, asking the barren tree to speak to him of God - and instantly there was flowering of leaves, a show of spring amidst the coldest season. I've always loved this story, reading of it once long ago and then long being fascinated by the power of being transformed, that a tree would reveal the presence of God through its bloom by simple request and the belief that spring was eternal to the tree. Yet I'm no longer sure of this lesson, that perhaps the real summons wasn't for God to show through the blossoming of the tree out of season, but for its dharma to be displayed, and that this too shows the presence of God, the harshness of winter, branches devoid of leaves and not yet ready for spring's bloom - dharma is displayed through every possibility, each season serves for the purpose of the tree's continuation. 

everything belongs as it is, even as it's already changing.

what St. Francis truly wished to see was the dharma of the tree, the purpose of a barren branches, and perhaps even his own purpose revealed during a harsh season of his soul. It certainly wasn't a casual request. There must have been a reason that Francis needed the tree to show it's dharma, a crisis of faith, maybe a winter filled by the cold touch of doubt. 

St. Francis need to see some reason and purpose to his own barren days.

and with his request - dharma is displayed,

yet not by transformation, the lesson here isn't in the bloom, but shown through the barrenness of branches and the cold touch of a winter's day, that the dharma of tree and season are inseparable, indeed being the very same display. Had St. Francis made this same request during spring's full blossom, perhaps autumn's fallen leaves would have been revealed - as dharma is displayed through every possibility of branch and season. The story of the almond tree is a beautiful example of dharma, how the present moment holds what's necessary for its own fulfillment, the exactness of all that's found right now, and that life is continuously changing even in the midst of what a season shows.

what St. Francis issued was a prayer, speak to me of God he asked the almond tree...

and with that, dharma through its infinite motion,

is displayed. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Of Storms and Mushrooms

Of storms and mushrooms: 

it's the time of storms and mushrooms, a cloud burst of heavy rain, lightening, and strong wind, often a daily occurrence through these hot and humid summer months. These storms appear due to moisture in the air, rising rapidly to meet colder conditions above and it's this mixture that causes the intensity of summer storms. From safety it's an amazing thing to witness, frightening if caught within the violence, tornado's, flash flooding and falling trees are always a possibility. 

yet there's intense beauty too.

as a kid I loved emerging from my house immediately after such a storm, following the swollen creeks to see how high they rose,  strong currents becoming rapids, almost a river in certain spots. There were fallen tree limbs to climb across, larger rocks washed from the stream banks to now reach the path, all residue from the storms violent sweep through my local woods. 

later in life, long distance runs and hikes kept me ever watchful for the conditions of these storms, on the lookout for the safest spot available should run arise while I was still some distance from my home. Even with being careful there were times when I was caught directly in a storms path and the only real options it seemed was to continue right through, surrendering to wind and sudden downpour, mindful of whatever debris might be blown in my direction, most literally becoming an object of the storm, no escape, windswept, drenched, a fierce acceptance of every flash of lightening and booming thunder. 

sometimes continuous motion is our only safest option. 

and then, always, there is that peaceful aftermath...my lifelong favorite is the sudden appearance of mushrooms the following morning after such a storm. Abundant and seemingly spontaneous, where there were none just the day before they're now seen quite clearly, mysteriously, appearing as if by some deep earth magic. This fungi is always present, but seldom noticed until post rainfall when they bloom to the typical mushroom appearance. Mushrooms are actually the fruiting body of fungi, flower like, their role is to produce spores and release them to the air. Mushrooms show me the flourish of life that results from every storm, teaching me to trust that the unseen holds a true and certain magic of its own, and that sometimes beauty only shows after heavy rainfall. 

and so it is, the magic of summer begins...

a showing of storms and mushrooms. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Reoccurring Dream

Reoccurring dream;  

there's a reoccurring dream I have, fairly often, and more of a nightmare really, made all the more frightening as it's an actual replay of an event during my early 20's, a stupid episode from my days of heavy drinking. I won't go into detail here, it still bothers me that I would endanger the lives of others by my actions back then, getting behind the wheel and driving in my stupidly blind condition. At that point I didn't even consider my drinking a problem, not yet anyway, as that would take a few more years of risky situations to myself and others, as well damaging so many of my relationships.  

but that would come, eventually, entirely by grace.

by all odds, and my reoccurring dreams confirms this every time it plays through my mind - I shouldn't have survived that night, worse still, I see each point where I could have harmed another, taken a life by sheer selfishness and stupidity. No reason, people would have died for the sake of me going to a party, or in other situations going to a bar. This particular has been burned into my memory, becoming one of the few reoccurring dreams I have, my only real nightmare. 

yet, I survived, having made it home with a wrecked car, and no other consequences paid. Back to drinking the very next night, and for years after. The question I ask myself is why did I survive, how did I escape harming others, that I so easily could have taken someone's life, many people actually - was there a reason, or purpose for me to be spared that horror? 

all these years later and I still have no answers. 

I don't believe there are any.

the truth is, as I see it anyway, I wasn't spared by divine action, saved with a specific purpose in mind. I was lucky, that's all,  and many aren't. I don't know why. It would be easy to say that there was some grand design involved, that I was meant for something greater. But what a great disservice that does to all those whose lives were taken by the stupidity of others. Every life is precious, even those of the stupid and ungrateful, the undeserving, every single life. 

even mine. 

my reoccurring dream plays out in excruciating detail, relived entirely, and I wake up unsure of my actual place in time. It's horrifying, not any less so now then it was years before. Decades later, many years sober, I think how easily I left drinking behind, just slipping from my life as a worn garment that no longer needed to be worn. It was that simple, and yet, someone could have dies for something so worthless, or I could have survived with guilt for the stupidity of my actions. Yet done of that happened, I simply stopped drinking when it was time, and I do believe it was through the grace of meditation, having reached a point where I no longer needed whatever it was alcohol seemed to provide. 

and still that reoccurring dream.

So here's the summary, such as it is - I don't know why anything happens, my life unfolds as a mystery, continuously, and each moment is gifted to my curiosity and surprise. Once I drank, and I seemed to have little regard for life, my own and that of others, my actions and behavior risked the well being of anyone close to me. I no longer drink. I am drastically different now, and there was no real attempt for me to turn my life around. Everything changed as everything changed - that's the only way that I'm able to explain it. None of this is taken for granted, I am grateful to be alive, for having been spared the possibility of injuring another, or taking someones life. What I see is that life doesn't have to follow a grand design, following a purpose or even having a specific meaning. It's enough to have this moment, an entire lifetime being lead to right here, now, and the miracle of a breath taken.

just this breath, 

and with this...my reoccurring dream is over.

~

Peace, Eric 

Larger community

Larger community: 

there's a larger community involved here, not just my neighbors in the houses next door, or those who live in another section of town. My community is all inclusive and isn't limited by location, religious beliefs, language, and more truly it extends to every bit of land and species. 

everything belongs. 

the definition of community holds that it is first a group of people living in the same place or having a common characteristic that brings about a bond. It's about connection and therefore doesn't limit us to living in a certain place, nor even a particular point of interest. What we have is a larger community, infinite really, all connected by the shared ground of earth, air, and the benefits received by sun and oceans, a thread of forest, mountains, and every animal, tiniest insects, every aspect of life that ties us permanently together. 

it's the larger community of life, nature.

our truest belonging. 

with this we have only one question to ask ourselves, a mantra really, repeated for the sake of our larger community - how may we serve? 

this service doesn't limit our joy in anyway, what it does is point us in the right direction for its true fulfillment. Life is meant to evolve, purposely so, and not just for the benefit of a single species. We're of a continuous involvement here, being life itself, and not a separate unit having a self-interest opposed to other aspect of our larger community. If one aspect fails the entire structure is compromised, quite possibly beyond repair. Our role, our fulfillment and joy, is to thrive and evolve for the benefit of all, a true community with a common bond. 

life, 

in service to itself. 

~

Peace, Eric  

That I Am a Sinner

That I am a sinner: 

that I am a sinner in the literal sense of its translation, having found that I've so often missed the mark completely in my aim, indeed, not even a target to be found. This refers to the ancient Greek concept of sin from which our present concept derives from, with sin being based more from ignorance than intent to do harm or transgress certain laws attributed to God and man. The ancient Greeks believed that to sin was a matter of missing the point of life entirely, that we are harmonious by nature, and that a failure to recognize our true essence is a transgression of our deepest values as a person. 

that I am a sinner simply means that I have missed the aim of life.

as it seems I often have. 

this isn't at all an original sin, truly we are born in innocence and remain so, at no point being separated from the divine flow of life itself. To become a sinner is only a matter of forgetfulness, having strayed in thought from our beginning intent of joyfulness, that in essence - we are simply an expression life itself and we're meant to show ourselves in whatever way brings us most easily to this joy. 

that I am a sinner...means that I've forgotten myself.

and yet given every opportunity to remember. 

 so in this sense, there's no real sin, and no actual sinner, as we've never completely missed the mark, there's not a target that we aim for -it's just life either being recognized as holy or ignored of its true potential. Here, in this light, holiness and joy are synonymous, the natural expression of life and we inherent to its core. 

that I am a sinner only means that I've forgotten this, missing the mark completely even as it's continuously displayed as my true reality. 

to be free of sin...

is to remember.

awakening.

now. 

~

Peace, Eric

As I relax Completely

I'm not sure that I would consider the things that I most love to do as a practice, not really, at least not in the sense as is often spiritually viewed, that meditation, yoga, breathwork and other common themes are spiritual practices based upon achievement, believing that I will attain a certain outcome of awakening. I see these things only as a practice of their performance, it's the ritual itself that truly counts, just the moment of my surrender as I relax completely to the task at hand - and that it's all beyond any sense of practice or achievement.  

there is only the performance.

and not even a performer found.

as I relax completely, if there is a spiritual system here, an underlying principle involved, that's it. This is what a lifetime practice is finally reduced to, relax, let go of any concepts, even one of surrender - and with the entire world opens to a deeper understanding.

most truly, this is the way things are, and by this I mean that this moment itself won't ever by changed by my denial of what it holds, or that any effort now will effect the present situation in any meaningful way. Certainly right actions done in the present moment will cause a different outcome in the future, and as I relax completely, simply accepting things as they are, I am are more apt to bring a fruitful change. In no way does this acceptance mean that I have to like where I find myself now, relaxing is far too dynamic for any passive sense of surrender. 

as I relax completely....

my world is already changed by this response.

intuitively, 

I see my path more clearly.

and if truly I have a spiritual practice at all, 

this is it.

~

Peace, Eric 

Spiritual Alchemy

Spiritual alchemy; 

really, it's no less the spiritual alchemy, that basic elements, most common, and not exclusive to the brain at all, will somehow prompt the experience of awe that occurs every time I see a Red-shoulder hawk alight on a branch, or produce the urge to give for me to give a curious moment to turtles sunning on a log, glimpsed as I walk around my local pond. These are conscious experiences, and a strictly materialistic view would have that they result from interactions of material things, a biochemical process of the human brain and nervous system - and that I am conscious only because of some particular arrangement of these physical items found throughout the entire universe, together having somehow sparked my experience of awe and curiosity of the world. 

that I am aware at all is spiritual alchemy. 

the arrangement of certain items to transform matter into mind.

there's no argument here, I'm not up to the task, and ultimately it doesn't matter to me, however consciousness is produced - I am, and truly it is as simple as that. I'm just as amazed that the universe can be arranged in such a way as to produce a sense of awe, and that physically, I am capable of pursuing a life that stirs those feelings. Materialism is spiritual alchemy in finest display, true magic indeed, basic elements mysteriously coming to a sense of being self-aware. 

alchemy.

my own experience is simply and only consciousness itself, with nothing being found separate from this awareness. Meditating, deep within a quiet exploration of self and the selflessness from which my thoughts and experiences arise - I find no point of origin, it's far too seamless here, not a single item more vital in importance than another, a spiritual alchemy consisting of ingredients that are far too subtle to truly exist completely on their own.

all I find is consciousness.

and I have no idea how any of this came to be.

a material explanation is as valid as any other as far as I'm concerned, being that I'm a firm believer in magic and the mystery of its arrangement. 

it's really just spiritual alchemy. 

no matter what it's called. 

~

Peace, Eric