Profound Appreciation

Profound appreciation: 

that every life is a beautiful expression of some sort, in some inexplicable way, and having a dharma of its own, a purpose beyond my understanding - my role then is of support, to bring no harm to this world, offering only my most profound appreciation for having found myself present to its beauty. This is how I wish to navigate through life, not just a witness, but as a deep participant, being an expression with my own unique beauty, entwined with others, immersed thoroughly in my every encounter, and with a most profound appreciation for having this sense of being alive, aware, and with a dharma of my own. 

my purpose is life, as is yours...

each being a beautiful expression. 

this isn't something that we do, it's not a practice, but more of a symptom of being alive and growing ever deeper in love with who we truly are. Life breaks us open with its beauty, that everything is so brief in its appearance, continuously changing even as we sometimes wish to halt the world and simply love something as it appears right now for just a moment longer. Yet life always moves on, shattering us with the briefness of our length of stay here, and that we are left only with that sense of profound appreciation for knowing this, for being aware that each moment is temporary,  just a beautiful expression, shifting and ever changing in some inexplicable way. 

and knowing this, recognizing the briefness and beauty of each expression, every life is then seen as a prayer in some deep and meaningful way, a grateful exclamation of simply being alive and aware, profound in our appreciation that we have somehow found ourselves here. This is our awakening, right now, seeing this, the everyday magic of our existence, all that we've been given, unasked for, continuously changing, shifting, yet always, always....present. 

our purpose is life, and for this - 

we offer our most profound appreciation.

~

Peace, Eric 

Blood Pressure

Blood pressure: 

every morning I check my blood pressure, it's not an health issue, being always in the low end of the healthy range, my heart rate in the mid 40's, and right now, no real concerns about my well-being. This is just a hold over from the last days of caring for my father, when I needed to check certain vital signs throughout the day and I established the habit of checking my blood pressure along with his along with our casual morning conversation. There is no real reason for me to continue this practice, diet, yoga, pranayama practice, meditation, as well as an intense fitness practice keep my blood pressure in check and my low heart rate low. But it's a connection with my father I've yet to break, even after a year now, not so much as reminder, or even a ritual, just a moment that's still shared with him, our easy conversation still shared in my early morning silence. 

it's a nice connection, one I cherish.

some morning, there's a good chance that I might forget to do this, with my blood pressure not being a real concern and days passing into years since there was a true need for this action as a habit, it might completely slip my mind. It happens that way, a careless forgetting and the morning continuing on, just a small thing missing and not noticed until later. Things like this aren't meant to last too long, trapping is in past actions that no longer really serve a purpose. They're meant to be let go, I know this, but for right now it continues, I remember every morning, checking my blood pressure, hearing my father's voice deep within my soul, just an easy morning conversation. 

it's one more connection, and I'll let it continue on, at least until that careless forgetting.

yet our conversation, that's what's lasting, it's as sure as the morning itself, deeper than any habit, beyond the need of a simple ritual of practice. It's a current conversation, still vital, full of wisdom and compassion. I will always here my fathers voice, he speaks to me through my daily actions, small decisions made with a care that he helped design, all the little things he taught me through the years expressed through my own life now. 

what I do each morning isn't really important, it's only continued as a reminder, a means of invoking a presence already and always here. But I'll continue it for now, I enjoy how it fits within my day, a carry over from another purpose, caregiver, and it seems that it's still needed, that there's a need for me to express a certain care, and more so, to feel this deep connection, a conversation...

stills shared in he early morning silence.

~

Peace, Eric 

Kinder Approach

Kinder approach: 

fitness, strength training, health in it's every facet, have always been a lifelong passion for me. Even when my own lifestyle fell short of the overall goal of well-being, there was always some aspect of pursuing some sort of fitness agenda since I was a child. Through the years the modality of training has changed fairly drastically, from bodybuilding style training, powerlifting, martial arts to years of running ultramarathons, but the one consistency was training intelligently and passionately to reach my certain goals. That hasn't changed, and now at 57 the passion remains the same and is balanced even more by the need for intelligent training. I still run, but walk quite a but more, not from necessity, it's now based on the enjoyment of my surroundings, a slower pace of appreciation and a kinder approach to my body. There are still some quite punishing sessions of training, mostly bodyweight, military style burpee sessions, with pullups, multiple pushups, squats, and these will often last up to an hour. They're grueling and I've been doing them daily, having a streak going on now of almost a year of daily training. It's as much for my mind as it is my body, an emotional demand of expanding energy, chasing reps for no real purpose other than to find myself exhausted of the need to pursue things any longer. 

this style of training, much like ultrarunning, depletes me of my ego.

it's a vision quest through motion. 

the numbers themselves don't really matter, there's little difference between one days output and the next, repetitions varying each session, and my body performs differently everyday. That's another important aspect, surrendering any expectations, allowing my body to tell me exactly how it would like to perform each day and trusting in its wisdom. I liken this to a Taoist style to training, it's a kinder approach as well, intuitive, listening to my body's energetic waves of motion. 

and listening is important.

that's the essence of a kinder approach, that I listen to what my body tells me, it's soft murmur of energy while walking, soaking in the fractal vibrations of natures designs, and all in contrast to the rush of motion of a harder run or a session of intense training. It's all based on listening to my body, my true body, which consists of every aspect of emotion, spirit, and the environment too - there's a langue here, earth speaking to my stride air expressed as breath, the energy of the entire cosmos told through the motion of my body. I hear it all, deeply listening, becoming fluent in this conversation.  

it's a kinder approach because of this listening, deepening through the years, urging me to listen to the more quiet whispers now, secrets only my true body knows, I'm not chasing reps, nor depleting myself of ego any longer, that's all a game of numbers and mind. Nothing is pursued...and the nature of my true body is gained through this approach. 

~

Peace, Eric 

For the soul: 

it's for the soul of the nation, that's what we're voting for, it's on the ballot and the outcome will reflect the type of people we wish to be, the world will see us as we truly are. Voting is no longer really a political issue, we're less concerned with policies than we are with tribal beliefs, choosing a side based on our emotional response and not really dealing with the facts on many matters. Or so it seems. Now is our chance to show otherwise, an opportunity to vote directly from the heart, which is always based on love, kindness, and compassion. Now...we're voting for the soul of the nation. 

I am fearful of a tribal nation, warring over issues that should be of a personal concern, things that should be protected as a right in its freedom of expression, a matter of choice. I don't believe that we are a Christian nation, not solely, with religious freedom being the foundation of our country, it's bedrock, and this also means being free of and from the doctrines of religious thought, no values but our own should ever be a leading factor in our personal lives. Yet I do believe that we are a soulful nation, a people of great and sure spiritual values. I hope that's true. What I would like to see is leader's displaying guidance from what Aldous Huxley called the perennial philosophy, the underlying values of all religious thought, a current of kindness and compassion that runs throughout our every spiritual belief. 

but I may be an idealist in that way. 

although I do believe that this is a very practical matter, indeed, that kindness is in order for our political survival, more so, our lives will be in jeopardy by its absence. Warring tribes will never heal a nation, hatred for a fellow countryman will keep us divided as a people, and even the most religious person will defy their values to protect and serve their tribal beliefs over the welfare of another. Kindness matters, always and in all things. Especially politics. Mostly though, it's not really an issue of politics or religion, as at the core of every religious belief and the essence of all political concerns is the fundamental declaration of simply loving one another, respect for personage, our innate and natural freedom to be true to our own unique expression without fear of violence or cast out from society. This isn't about religion, nor politics, no...

it's about the soul of the nation. 

our souls. 

collectively, individually.

and with this I leave the page thinking of the Beatitudes, what many scholars believe are the only true words of Jesus in the entire testament, everything else being interpretations recorded by others in the years that followed the crucifixion. It's here, with these few words, that we are asked to be peace makers, humble of spirit, to feed the hungry and clothes the poor. We are urged to forgive, to endure unkindness with compassion and sake a greater understanding. Oddly enough, Jesus lived in extremely tribal times, an age of war and conquest, and yet he taught and preached kindness to all. Have we evolved so little over time? Still practicing tribalism only now disguised in political form? The essence of the bible is in the kindness of it's message, cosmology from the very breath of God to the fall from our original grace, life divided, separated in tribal fashion, not just from each other, but from the land as well, removed from our connection to the spirit of the earth. Yet through its pages the bible leads to Jesus, a redemption of spirit, reclaiming our kindness and compassion. That's the only real lesson from the bible, that we can always return to kindness. It's the only way to God, no matter our tribe, or politics, or our religious beliefs. 

so I'll close here with more perennial wisdom, this from the great sage - Ramana Maharshi, who, when questioned by a follower on how to treat others, replied simply and succinctly - that there are no others. That's the only answer that we ever really need to hear. There are no others, none, only an endless reflection of who we truly are shown throughout the world, and that all kindness is a matter of self-care, that every stranger is our own true self returned. 

seeing this, our every act, each vote...

for the soul of the nation. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Two Black Cats

Two black cats: 

having two recently adopted two black cats, rescues, 10 years and sisters that have been together all this time - I know nothing of their back story, why they were let go and brought into a shelter, how long they were there for, no information about them other than the shelter workers loved them and were worried that thy might be separated through different homes. I was told all this by my ex-wife, not for the sake of convincing me to bring them home, but she shared the shelter's concerns as well. 

so now I share my home with two black cats.

through out my life I've always had cats and dogs, never a long stretch without their presence, although with the loss of my two most recent dogs, beloved, and still missing them several years later, I've been unwilling to open myself again to caring for another animal in that way. The emotional price is steep from their loss and it's been a time of deep hurt for me, losing my parents, divorce, my animal companions - I am unprepared to care that deeply again. Or ever maybe, as it seemed enough for me to have my ex-wife visit with her dog, giving attention and care on a part-time basis, an emotional investment without any real attachment. Of course Misty, doesn't realize that, when she visits she's my dog, my walking companion, and offers me a dog's love without condition. In every real sense of love and care - she's my dog as well, that's just the way it works with her. 

my two black cats aren't crazy about her visits. 

she's a curious dog, playful and affections as he puppy she once was, six years old and only wants to play and get to know her two new friends. To Misty, everyone is a friend, even two black cats that clearly don't share the same idea of friendship. This is now their home, I'm their companion, the person they seek for attention and affection and anything outside of their usual spectrum is suspect and they will withdraw from their usual home life, hiding briefly until order is restored. Not traumatized, but slightly miffed by this intrusion. They have made this place their home. And all visitors are suspect in their interruptions. It's that simple. 

it's been good for me to have this care, both giving and receiving, not allowing myself to be so selective in my emotions. Both cats are fairly independent, but one in particular has decided that I'm her person, almost always wanting to be near, finding a spot within the same room to keep an eye on my activities, calmed by my meditation, curious of the sound of typing fingers, always ready to listen to my conversation, blinking at the comfort of my voice without concern for the actual words. Or maybe she does understand and is only humoring me with her listening. The other cat is a bit more skittish, quickly settling down with the right and proper attention, but easily startled as well. I walk softly by her, giving fair warning to my presence and intentions, no wish to be the cause for her disturbance and it seems she appreciates this care, blinking and offering a soft purr as her appreciation. 

 my life is a little different now, not much, but just enough to break the pattern of my own self-involvement, opening myself in little ways that shows me how guarded I've become through the last few years. I've realized that previously I would go all through the morning hours with hearing my own voice in conversation, the quiet of my meditation extended to the day, and would often find myself slightly startled by my first words, hearing a voice that sounded unfamiliar, almost foreign to my ears. It's nice to have two early morning companions to talk to, patient to my routine, but making themselves available to listen my ideas that I'll write about this morning, offering wisdom in the silence of their replies. As Eckhart  Tolle has declared "I have known several Zen masters - - all of them cats. I think I would agree, although I'm adding Misty in as well. Two black cat Zen Master's and a visiting Bodhisattva dog companion, and life is pretty good, expanding with just a little bit more affection and conversation, reminding me that life is meant to be open, expansive, allowing. 

I am grateful for this reminder...

and to those who have reminded me. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Life Arrives

Life arrives: 

there's no real practice to our letting go, it's not a conscious thought of grace and composure in the instant of our greatest sorrow - this is just how life arrives to us, it's all been a continuous surrender since the moment we were born, letting go of everything once held dear for the embrace of life to come, and through this way we proceed to the ultimate point of our surrender. 

it's not something that we practice.

but only what we are.

and yet we can bring a sense of awareness to this, seeing more closely how our life is constantly involved in the process of change, evolving from one stage of life to another and with no small amount of grief and sorrow known along the way. But even awareness isn't a practice, not really, it's most truly what we are through the course of all this change, a one and only constant - awareness is what remains when all else is surrendered. It's who we are, without any need of practice, natural.

it's how life arrives to us.

with awareness being the grace that allows our letting go.

there it is, our only true spiritual practice, and it's just life, experienced through all of its depth and fullness, knowing that every last thing is eventually surrendered, and that life prepares in this way. We are already wise in the way of the Buddha, having always known change, certain of our grief and sorrow - and yet still fearlessly we live on, constantly surrendering all that we are right now for the sake of our continuous becoming. 

through our letting go...

life arrives. 

~

Peace, Eric 

Sitting

Sitting: 

I'm really only interested in writing for its own sake, a creative expression in just a few words and any theme or great meaning is a bonus of sorts. What I enjoy is calmly letting the words come to me, no real sense of chasing inspiration - I write, or I simply sit, patient, not ever a concern for words, content with the soft, subtle hush of morning sounds and the warmth of my first sips of coffee. There's no need for anything but this, and any few words that do arrive add to the joy of my sitting. 

it seems there's poetry in everything we do, even sitting provides infinite means of inspiration, a story of sounds heard both near and distant, the wait for first light to reach my window, how everything feels just right and perfect for the beginning of another day. Sitting itself tells the story of patience, of a certain faith in the gift of words and inspiration, how joy is found in the easiest of pleasures. Yes, there are infinite things to write of and all can be taken to a great depth of exploration, that from where I am right now, a hardback chair in a small office at my home, sitting before keyboards and computer screen, a window to me near right, and a universe as my surroundings. There are particles constructing the atoms that further create our world, everything that's felt and seem is coming to form in this very instant, molecules forming cells and then organs and all for the sake of my appearance. 

infinite things, right now...

and it's all happening here, now, exactly where I'm sitting. 

there's no small amount of pleasure taken with this knowing, it's an immense joy, an entire universe in creation and channeled to this morning, and that it's just so perfect to be sitting here, writing these few words, sipping coffee, listening as the world begins to stir with its own early inspiration. I'm in no hurry for anything to happen, not for words, no further writing...

just sitting, 

immersed in the joy of infinite things. 

~

Peace, Eric