Weeds Within My Garden

in the past this would be depression, and maybe it still is - and yet I no longer feel like an active participant to dark emotions, or perhaps better stated there no longer seems to be a separate, removed person to suffer this alone. It's not that I have disassociated myself from the gravity of depression, there's no rose tinted view to my inner weeds, in fact, and more so, I've come to find a holy place for weeds within my garden. They belong. Right now, depression is occurring through no invitation of mine - and too there is still beauty, and a kinship of people, trees, and sky. I am removed from none of this, finding myself drawn in and released, a breath without struggle in this play of life. It's all simply happening. I am too. 

~

Peace,

Eric 

Lets Consider The Esophagus

let's consider the esophagus, a quick meditation - right now the esophagus is doing exactly what an esophagus is supposed to do. Hopefully. It needs no help from us, no conscious action on our part is required for its proper function. Effort is needed in order for it to perform its role, however it doesn't come from us, there is no command each morning for compliance of each working organ. It's the innate wisdom of the esophagus. It's life. Functioning. This same wisdom is found throughout the body, the natural draw and release of breath, heartbeat, and recognition of the senses - it's the very same wisdom that causes a tree to reach it's branches through air and spread roots in connection to the earth. It's not divided from one cause to another, life sourced in a hierarchy of order. We are animated from one source - everything. Life. Happening. 

Sometimes there is failure, the natural function of the body ceases to perform in it's usual manner, we age and eventually face the moment of our departure from this known life. I have no clue what comes after. My need for comforting thoughts of this particular life continuing have lessened in light of current revelations offered in this moment - life is affirmed by this breath, now, this heartbeat, and yes, the healthy function of my esophagus. I am not separate from any of this. It's life and I am fully in its midst. 

~

Peace,

Eric 

Faithless

faithless - for beyond this moment would only be speculation, an authority other than my own granted as my guidance. My beliefs are held lightly, what holds true now may indeed prove baseless in light of further experience. Yet in this moment, without faith in anything other than the touch of air against skin, a birds note playing to a soundless backdrop, breath, heartbeat and thought all serving to the function of life itself  - it's all simply enough. 

Nothing more is needed. 

~

Peace,

Eric 

The Grace Of Each Given Instant

it's grace, found this very moment - and it's the simplicity of just allowing, no argument presented to the reality of what's occurring, and for this sake even words of protest are found to be harmless in their passing. Grace is our surrender - but not to anything removed from this moment, not to a concept thought larger than ourselves. We let go only to right now, the grace of each given instant, and it's a continuous surrender in which we may find ourselves awakened. 

~

Peace,

Eric 

Here's The Thing - I'm Not Interested In "You"

here's the thing - I'm not as interested in the views, opinions, or the thousand thoughts that frame our day, as I am in the shared presence that we hold between us. Our seeing is of the same source and only the later interpretation will ever differ. We hear a birds note in a familiar listening, a stillness belonging to no one in particular yet receptive to us all. It's the same with all of our senses, each experienced on what seems the individual fabric of self, the touch of sun against skin, a scent carried by a breeze that holds a memory of long ago - the surface of the experience is ours alone, but the depth, that in which the world plays through and as in these smaller servings, that's the answer to what we are. It's all presence, the note and bird are not removed from the listening, the breeze and scent are one, and we are as much the sun as we are the skin that receives it. We are the seeing. Alone, together - not apart from each other.

Ever. 

~

Peace,

Eric 

This Breath Alone

this breath alone - drawn now, released, and beyond the

moment that it's given, 

there is nothing more to know.

~

every revelation is momentary, and all we can ever know is the simplicity of breath, it's arrival and completion, life affirmed by heartbeat, and the texture of the world against our senses. Anything else that seems to lead us from this moment - is only speculation. 

Awakening to this - life, occurring always and 

only right now,

happens on its own. 

Enjoy it all. 

Peace,

Eric 

It All Happens On Its Own

it's not willful - it all comes from mystery, a void of knowing, and in this there is no place to exert any certain expectation. Our demands mean little outside their thought filled realms. Yet we devote our lives to the whim and wish of a bullying voice. Life is uncertain. Even our best intent only leads us further deep in mystery. 

In truth - we are led nowhere. 

This moment is the depth of mystery, it's the continuous question to our every answer, and the fulfillment of its own desire. It's beyond our knowing, and still, it is all we will ever know. So we come to this paradox, full of will and intent, prayerful  - and there's nothing we can do. 

But surrender. 

And again 

surrender. 

If it all comes to mystery than our only faith is this - there is no knowing past the moment that we're given. Let go, let go, let go....it all happens on its own. 

~

Peace,

Eric