Of Love and Values

Of love and values: 

from first reading on I took the directives offered by A Course in Miracles very seriously. Being told to teach only love resonated to my core level, and I've done my best to do so through the decades of my practice. To hear that love is actually who I am and that I could experience this as my reality by extending it to others stirred something deep within me. Perhaps it was the call to action. Decades later now and this still feels like an inner-revolution, not one of battle but of gentle inquiry into my values. To teach only love means that I demonstrate my truest values, that I cherish more the innocence of another than I do my own projections. It's always a value choice. Fortunately there is a guidance system within the mind that is always clear, in starkest terms, on the consequences of my values. The ego would have me continue to treasure the things of the world that are always temporary in existence, short-termed in pleasure and leaving me empty in their absence. The Holy Spirit speaks in terms of cherishing the eternal, the lasting values that only love can offer. Whichever choice I make will be demonstrated through my actions, a life grasping for empty pleasures, or softly teaching the reality of love. 

now, reaching this point later in my life...

I teach only love,

for that is what I am. 

~

I love you, Eric

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Salvation

Salvation: 

so at this point I'm becoming one pointed in my one goal, truly focused now, with no more distractions allowed. Lesson 99 of A Course in Miracles reminds me that salvation is my only function here, and that this is achieved through the practice of forgiveness, in fact, they're one and the same. The Course explains that salvation is undoing the appearance of separation, it's correcting the error of illusions and seeing the reality of light shine through. We're light-bearers, all of us, our torch is forgiveness. I've always loved the radical nature of this plan, how salvation isn't earned by performing good deeds - but through our unwavering commitment to seeing others in their original innocence. 

of course this is really how we save ourselves 

as ultimately,there are no others. 

~

I love you, Eric

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Inner Altar

Inner altar: 

upon my inner altar, carefully, all my beliefs are gently laid aside and only love adorns. This is my place of devotion now, pure, free of the past, nothing projected into the future - it's where I consciously, continuously return to meet my prayerful needs. There is an altar within you too, our meeting place, light-filled, and my role is to greet you there in worship of our purest nature. 

today, 

may we find ourselves here, our inner altar...

together in this worship.

~

I love you, Eric 

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Epilogue

Epilogue: 

so I think I love the ending of A Course in Miracles the most, the epilogue, and especially it's urge to now surrender to the directive of the Holy Spirit, hearing only its voice calling for forgiveness. Through my many readings of the workbook I've always felt like I made it to the ending through both grace and no small amount of effort. It certainly takes commitment to go through these daily lessons, and there were many times early on when I put the book aside completely. To be honest, almost 20 years since I first completed the workbook, (and it took me over a decade to finally commit to it) I was sure that I was done and would now face the world in the new light of my effort. Of course God thought otherwise, but in a very gentle way. The Course calls to me more as a familiar voice, a song of comfort and grace that serves more as a prayer than it does lessons to be learned. 

and so my only real role is to listen to this song, 

living my life as a prayer.

surrendering

completely.

~ 

I love you, Eric

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Infinite Patience

Infinite patience: 

it's a state of loving certainty, knowing that every outcome is absolutely rooted in love, and that truly, right now - we are resting within eternity. This is what A Course in Miracles means by it's statement of infinite patience and that it's practice within the present moment produces immediate results. The word practice here is really just a mindful act of noticing that there's nowhere else to be, eternity is already here, and time cannot circumvent its presence. The immediate effects is in resting in the absolute certainty that love is always present and never wavering - even as the mind wanders in dreams of distance. 

infinite patience is the reminder that we're home.

~

I love you, Eric

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Decision Maker

Decision maker: 

so I never decide alone, I'm always partnered with an aspect of the mind that is either choosing peace and extending love, or continuously allowing ego to reign free. There is a decision maker here too, a presence of mind that can mindfully choose between the two. I begin my morning with the reminder that today, I will make no decisions by myself, noting that even now, decades into my practice of A Course in Miracles, I will still opt for the ego many times throughout the day. There's something very subtle at play here though, as both ego and the Holy Spirit have my happiness in mind, a wish for their fulfillment to manifest through my day. My role each morning is to remember which vision of happiness has truly brought me peace of mind, and then to allow that presence to make my decisions for the day - or as often as I'm able to at least. What's magical is how often now I'm able to surrender to this presence, not solely, nor every time, but those few moments that I am able to relinquish my default decision maker for it's true and holier version...  make all the difference in the world.

quite literally so.

~

I love you, Eric

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Kindest Thought I Hold

Kindest Thought I hold:  

so for me, a miracle is the gift of kindness, a gentle shift in my perception from the story being told to the reality of love that's shared between us. This comes so natural to me now, easily, although I still consider it a practice, asking for a miracle throughout my many interactions of the day. It's the kindest thing I do, the kindest thought I hold.

I wish to see you in the light of who you truly are.

and find this love reflected back to me.

thank you, thank you,

thank you.

~

I love you, Eric

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In An Instant

In an instant: 

so it comes down to willingness, and the Holy Spirit doesn't ask for much, just a little is enough for a new breath of holy air to sweep me clean of ego - if only for the briefest moment. Yet through the years it's been a cultivated practice, a conscious choice that now is almost a reflex. That brief moment of willingness is felt to be eternity in an instant. 

and it's enough for my entire world to change.

~

I love you, Eric

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Distinctions

Distinctions: 

there's little distinctions I pick up now, decades of study behind me, and these make all the difference in my practice, having truly brought me to a greater understanding. For years I have stated that the Holy Spirit is the voice of God, a lovely thought indeed, and yet a distinction erroneously made on my part, being a reflection of my own state of mind at the time. What's said in Chapter 5 of A Course in Miracles is that the Holy Spirit is the voice for God, and this is a key difference for me now. It's amazing to consider how a slightly different wording could cause such a shift of mind. The voice of God invokes a powerful presence that speaks from a distance, almost impersonal in its tone, and is asking for obedience. This distinction kept me a bit farther away from God, creating a seance of having to reach for a clearer message. 

but read correctly, using the proper wording...

and everything is different.

what I'm told is that the Holy Spirit is the Voice for God and it's presence is within me, an ever present whisper that urges me to pause and listen closely to its message. 

the difference is intimacy.

and as the Holy Spirit is within my mind, not only am I tasked to listen, mindfully so, being very careful with my choice to turn from ego to a softer presence - I'm to allow this voice to speak through me, a gentle force of love that's then extended to the world. 

it's a clear distinction,

and I'm ready for it now.

~

I love you, Eric

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Ask

Ask: 

but first I ask - for me to give anything of value I have to possess it, realizing that it's truly mine to now give away. I know with certainty my purpose in life, my dharma role I'm meant to play, and it's nothing that's been assigned to me by ego, my false sense of self and the belief system that it holds.

I am here only to be truly helpful. 

I am here to love.

I am here to forgive the world of my every illusion. 

but first I have to invite the presence of love more fully in my life, a request to Holy Spirit for loving thoughts to be recognized and then received before giving these ideas away. These are the purest thoughts of God, already and always present in my mind, yet long neglected. So I am asking the Holy Spirit to help me remember, to bring this loving presence into my awareness. 

and then once remembered...

give it all away,

completely.

but first - I have to ask. 

~

I love you, Eric

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Truly Helpful

Truly helpful: 

to be truly helpful is to praise God, seeing past errors to the heart of Christ that beats in sync with one another. This is the language of A Course in Miracles, using terms that might nor resonate with some, but sincerely conveys the holiness of our encounters. Here, Christ is a state of mind that signifies our best and highest thought system, it's the pure light found within us all. Being truly helpful is finding God within another, even through their seemingly worst behavior, and this simple recognition is enough for our own salvation. On the level of form, bodies, perhaps nothing holy shows through -

but, and as to where we really are...there is great joy in heaven

we have praised God, 

indeed.

~

I love you, Eric

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My Only True Meditation

My only true meditation: 

it's when you become my meditation, a zen experience of seeing only the light within you, and my own innocence illuminated through your eyes. There is no time here - only the holy instant that brought us together, You are my forgiveness, my long believed errors instantly corrected as I see you in the light of who you truly are and my own truth so loving reflected. So this, then, is my awakening, our every encounter, and I will always seek to find you through your every appearance and most distressing disguise. 

you,

  my only true meditation. 

my awakening.

thank you, thank you, thank you.

I love you. 

~

I love you, Eric

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The Light Has Come

The light has come: 

 so the light has come, it's already present right now, and that's the great promise of lesson 75 of A Course in Miracles, stating that in a sense, we can relax into the reality of who we are. I've always loved that the Course doesn't build up to revealing the truth, it's present at the very beginning of the text and at first lesson. It's holographic really, as one sentence or lesson contains the entirety of the message. The light has come tells me that every lesson that follows will simply be a revelation. 

so my role now is to only see the light.

and I have a lifetime to practice.

~

I love you, Eric'

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My Goal

My goal: 

at this point in life, all I wish is to be very clear in my goal, singular in my wish for peace. This is a different way to view the world, seeing that everything has the purpose for awakening. So there's two thought systems in place here, and what I value reflects this keenly. Ego will always place an emphasis on the things that inflate its sense of specialness, ensuring it's continued belief in separation from others as well as God. Because the ego is a dream figure, no more than a construct within the mind, what it values is always temporary, never truly delivering on whatever's been promised - there is no peace to be found here. And then there is the Holy Spirit, a thought system that only recognized what's truly valuable. These are the thoughts, subtle by nature, that urge forgiveness, asking me to look past illusions, beyond any hurt or anger and see the value of Christ within another. 

my goal is very clear now.

forgiveness.

and I only value what it offers.

~

I love you, Eric

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This Need Not Be

This need not be: 

it's not to be mistaken for bypassing - A Course in Miracles gives us a declaration of choice, either the chaos of ego or the peace offered by the Holy Spirit, yet this doesn't bypass the issue at hand. What we're given is the means to respond to any thought or situation with the tool of grace, a reinterpretation from the ego;s initial reaction to the more loving response of spirit. Out tool is reminding ourselves with just four words - this need not be. This is applied to any thought that doesn't bring us a peace, it's a mindful approach, a gentle notice of where we are right now, and then an easy prayer of letting go. 

this need not be.

we don't deny what's present, 

only recognizing that beneath our chaotic thoughts...

a quiet mind awaits.

~

I love you, Eric

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Kingdom

Kingdom: 

with explicit directions we were told the kingdom of heaven is within us, and subtle still, Jesus in A Course in Miracles says that even the word "within" is unnecessary. The problem with being given any directions is that we often stumble on the guideposts and symbols, mistaking the map for the territory. We believe that heaven is a place to be reached, or a state to be attained, and miss the point entirely. 

we,

are heaven.

right now.

but we are blocked of this awareness by the ego, a mistaken belief system that keeps us trapped within the illusion of a place seemingly separate from heaven. We are already the kingdom of God, our true reality, but only dreaming otherwise. Theses are tools for our awakening - kindness, forgiveness, and extending love to others. We are the kingdom of heaven, endowed with the infinite creative abilities of light and love. 

our only role here is to continuously expand the kingdom.

so I extend myself to you.

and our kingdom grows,

beautifully 

together,

~

I love you, Eric

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Angels

Angels: 

I don't really know much about angels, my beliefs aren't set in doubt, nor could I offer definite proof of their existence. Both yoga philosophy and A Course in Miracles speak of angels as being more than a possibility, that our lives are guided and often protected by their presence. Many people who have meditated sincerely for a number of years have opened to themselves to these subtle realms and experience their influence and messages on a deeply personal level. There are those who seemed to have never lost their connection to the celestial and receive their guidance as an act of grace. Again, I just don't know enough to offer doubt or proof. 

but I love the thought of these companions.

at this point in my life I've reached the very edge of surrender. It seems that I have mediated myself to an edge of subtle realms and experiences that cannot be explained and I have little need to try. What I'm asked to surrender is my own defiance, letting go of my need to take a lonely stance against the universe and shake my fist in anger. The funny thing is - I never even knew that I was doing so. Yet the ego itself is a defiance against reality. I have certainly declared myself independent of God and have lived much of my life in this belief. We all have. 

and now I'm asked to let this go.

to surrender my defiance.

more so, 

I'm being told, not by words, but through presence...that I'm not alone.

⁶“The rhythm of the universe,” “the herald angel’s song,” all these and more are heard instead of loud discordant shrieks. (ACIM, P-2.VI.2:6)

however faintly now...

I hear.

~

I love you, Eric

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My Function as Light

My function as light: 

as told in A Course in Miracles, my only function is the one God gave me, and further that I am the light of the world. This sounds like a very grand assignment, God directed, as if my personal dharma has already been assigned. And maybe it has, although it seems to have taken me a lifetime to finally arrive here. Or perhaps my only real mission was the 60 years it took to reveal myself as light. Honestly, I really don't know...but I do know that the nature of light is to extend itself through darkness. 

and so now,

that's my only function.

however it unfolds.

~

I love you, Eric

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Teachers

Teachers:

over the past few months I've been so fortunate to have many wonderful guest appear on my small YouTube channel, each one a blessing in what they've offered. My thoughts have been that I would bring these teachers to my community as a resource for personal growth, aiding in their quest for a sense of peace in an ever more chaotic world.

I thought I could be truly helpful.

and as it turns out - it's not really why the teachers were there at all. Yes, I'm sure that many viewers have been helped and that just the right words have reached them, perhaps even brought a great healing. Or at least the beginning of one. But truly, every single guest has been for me, offering just the right words, or often simply a gentle smile, and my heart breaks open to an indescribable joy. I had no idea that the script was written for the perfect expression of love to find me.

and yet it was.

I hope that I have been truly helpful to those that visit my channel. It's my great prayer that I can be of service to others, and that my channel will be a place of healing, a source of inspiration, as well for it to be the answer to my own healing. What I know for certain is that the script was written with just the right teachers to find each of us when we're ready. Everyone who has shown up to my channel, guest as well as viewer, have been such profound teachers to me in ways that I cannot yet even begin to fathom.

and I am so grateful that you've found me.

~

I love you, Eric

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Certain

Certain: 

wise words imparted to me from an elder student of A Course in Miracles, long familiar through my own practice, and yet new light given through their loving delivery:

I don't know what anything is for.

these words were received as a gift, as if a mantra whispered from a heart and heard by soul. The instructions that followed were simple - a gentle smile and an urge to live in the space of innocence in which they point towards, surrendering my ego's perspective for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. 

truly, I don't know what anything is for.

but I often believe I do.

and my life reflects these beliefs in fearful shadows, a world that only seems to grow darker as my ego projects its insecurity and false sense of certainty. Lesson 25 of A Course in Miracles reminds me that there is, indeed, another way to see the world. There is light, extended in such soft illumination, with no need to chase those fearful shadows away. They were never really there after all. I really don't know what anything is for, but love recognizes the certainty of their purpose. 

everything is here to be forgiven.

no exceptions.

as only our innocence is certain.

~

I love you, Eric

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Added Weight

Added weight: 

even the slightest judgement adds its weight to an ever heavier heart, and throughout a lifetime of near continuous judging - our hearts are heavy indeed. Really, this is because only ego, the false representative of who we are, is even capable of making judgments against others - or  ourselves. So each choice of the ego only reinforces our mistaken belief system, fortifying a false identification. It creates and further grows the illusion of our separation. We're not asked to give up judging, nor to fight against the ego - but to simply, and gently so, recognize the weight that's being added to our weary heart.

and then choose otherwise. 

that's our only practice, that a judgement is in place and we have chosen the ego. We are just about to add that weight to our overburdened heart. But we can choose otherwise, there's another representative within the mind, one that more truly reflects who we actually are. So a judgement is merely a trigger, an opportunity to extend the will of heaven, or to continue to deny love's presence in our lives. 

our practice, than, is to simply choose.

and if needed, 

choose once again...

but always gently so.

~

I love you, Eric 

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Awaken

Awaken: 

and I chased enlightenment for many years, so many spiritual practices, deep states of meditation, plant medicines, and every promise from those who offered an awakening. Yet I continuously put off the most obvious - forgiveness truly does offer everything I want. This is instant zen, original innocence restored within a moment, and it's always available, a daily encounter with my hidden Christ nature. It's not that I didn't know this, but it was the depth of my grievances and guilt that I found surprising. This is a practice of seeing every illusion as an opportunity for the light of reality to shine through. So it's the entire world that needs to be forgiven, as long as there's a projection from my most hidden depth...there's a need for my forgiveness. 

and through this practice, with every encounter...

I awaken.

~

I love you, Eric

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Collective Dawn

Collective dawn:

gently so, my only role is to correct the errors of my misperception, to see you clearly now, again, and again, as if for the first time ever. This is how we meet each other in original innocence, nothing carried forward from the past that tarnishes our view - there is light here now, and every shadow must depart in the immediacy of it's arrival. 

we are light finders.

and truly,

our own light shines brightest together.

a collective dawn.

we are essential to each other.

You,

are my awakening.

and I am

yours.

thank you, thank you, 

thank you.

~

I love You, Eric

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Edge of Fear

Edge of fear: 

what I've long wanted to do was live a simple life of creativity, writing and sharing, and above all else demonstrating the principles that I've held so dear. My challenge has been the possibility of earning an income through creative means, ultimately trusting that indeed, God alone is the source and I only have to stay true to the message of forgiveness and love. I am not there yet, not in income, nor faith - trusting in the infinite generosity of the universe has often placed me on the edge of fear. This year has taught be the art of letting go, almost continuously so it seems. I've been stripped of much that I've long cherished, finding myself precariously dangling on that edge. 

and yet, here I am. 

my plan is to keep showing up until I can no longer do so, or that I am eventually called to offer a different means of my creativity. So is it really a gamble when all I've been asked to do is demonstrate love, kindness, and continuous forgiveness? Sometimes it still seems so, my faith hasn't quite backed me away from that fearful edge. But I'm willing to stand here a little while longer, swaying on that edge, afraid, and yet trusting too that perhaps....

this is where I learn to fly.

~

I love you, Eric

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Laws

Laws: 

truly, I am under no laws but God's, and yet I live my life in a very ordinary fashion, recognizing that this world has a certain order that I must follow. It's the interior light that guides me however, unwavering in it's quality, always illuminating my path ahead. I am in an illusory world, real in a very physical sense and honored for the lessons that it offers. But reality offers only God's law, singular in it's devotion to love, light, and forgiveness. 

I am under no laws but God's.

 and happily so.

~

I love you, Eric 

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My Reminder

My reminder: 

and I was asked to consider my own innocence, that there was a hidden quality of my true nature that was not just long ignored, but was actually beyond my present state of comprehension. Perhaps that was my first confrontation with A Course in Miracles and it felt almost like a blunt object of defiance to every self-belief that I held about myself. I certainly didn't feel innocent. Yet all the Course ever asks for is just a little willing to consider that this might be so, to investigate through those gentle considerations that it offers. The only real confrontation here was my own self doubt. Happily, I have touched upon an inner truth that shines bright beyond those dark beliefs. 

I've returned to innocence.

repeatedly...as it's still so often forgotten.

of course this little willing extends now to you.

to everyone.

I am asked to consider the innocence of each person I encounter, challenging my ego's initial consideration with a deeper and sustained investigation. That's the nature of true forgiveness, zen like in it's inquiry, a contemplation of what's shared between us.

that's how I remember my innocence.

you,

are my reminder.

~

I love you, Eric

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Here I am

Here I am: 

there is a prayer given by Jesus to Bill Thetford, the co-scribe of A Course in Miracles, meant for his personal use. It's not found in my own treasured and tattered edition of the Course, but I have recently come across it and love this new discovery. 

here I am Lord.

these words feel like a stance to me, powerful, an announced meditation that I am fully available, right now, to the presence of God. This is a prayer I can carry in my heart, a mindfulness practice of consistently placing myself in God's moment. 

here I am Lord.

and this is exactly where God meets me.

~

I love you, Eric 

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Only Our Innocence Shown

Only our innocence shown: 

looking more readily towards the Holy Spirit now, the very symbol of kindness and unconditional love residing within my mind -and from this view it's the struggle of others, from everyone I meet really, that breaks my heart wide open. My own struggles often equals theirs, our suffering is matched in similar loss, we share the same sorrow of our mistaken beliefs of shame and grievances long held. But the Holy Spirit doesn't see any of this, there's no recognition of brokenness or sorrow - only our innocence and wholeness is seen through these loving eyes. This seems to be the gift of duality, the contrast what ego shows and my choice to see the reality of love. It's not bypassing, but a workable solution to life. 

my heart breaks open for light to be shown.

and it's this I wish to give the world.

~

I love you, Eric 

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No Idle Thoughts

No idle thoughts: 

a powerful sentence from chapter two of A Course in Miracles tells us that "there are no idle thoughts" and then follows with the notion that all thoughts produce form on some level. And there's the answer for the world we see, or more aptly and importantly - the one that we created. So really, this is a course in responsibility. But it should be a joyful one. Our role, today, is to recreate our world, mindfully so now, and without self-recrimination. One thought, simply recognized as fear, and then given over to a gentle smile of awareness - and then choose a thought of love.

that's it.

and so the world begins to change. 

~

I love you, Eric

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Fulfillment

Fulfillment: 

I've always liked the principle of manifesting, first coming across it many years ago through some authors that might be considered "New Age" in their beliefs, and it immediately appealed to me as an almost magical way of fulfilling my desire. My yoga studies at the time explained it in way that seemed to make the most sense, that it's simply a matter of entering an intent, a sankalpa, into the infinite field of pure consciousness and allowing it to align with the potentiality of it's fulfillment. Magical, yes, but also based up sound principles of yogic knowledge. And it worked, right circumstances always seemed to reveal themselves for me to trust the process, patiently detached as the universe cooperated with my intentions and brought my desire to its fruition. 

and yet, there was never fulfillment, or not completely so, as the next desire almost always emerged soon after the first appeared. An endless cycle of desire. Deepak Chopra coined the term "spontaneous fulfillment of desire" and it urges us to follow the synchronicities that naturally appear through the mind that grows quiet with the practice of meditation. Again, into that vast still of consciousness we enter a more general intent of trust, having the good faith that the universe knows exactly what we need for our every need to be met. This has been my practice for many years, it appeals to my growing sense of trust that I am part of an infinite Source that loving guides me on my way through life. 

but even this practice now feels a bit incomplete, as if I am not ultimately trusting that God alone will meet my every need if I just surrender to His love. This is where my long practice of A Course in miracles has led me, that ultimate surrender, complete faith that I am cared for through the love of God. I'll be honest, I'm not quite there yet, close, being on the precipice of this surrender. What I've found, as I'm balancing here on the edge of faith - is that this is now my only true desire, allowing God to be the one fulfillment that has need for another to arise. It's the end of the cycle of desire. Or close to it for me. So as the Course offers in lesson 242:

And so we give today to You. ²We come with wholly open minds. ³We do not ask for anything that we may think we want. ⁴Give us what You would have received by us. ⁵You know all our desires and our wants. ⁶And You will give us everything we need in helping us to find the way to You. (ACIM, W-242.2:1-6)

yes, I'm still on the precipice...

but closer now to finally letting go.

~

I love you, Eric

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Also, please visit to buy: Determined to See

Thank you.